It's been a while since we've done a featured site interview here. We did a bunch in the early stages of the site in the hopes to draw more traffic, but now, we're doing it simply because I Don't Want Your Life makes us feel like we're on 'dolls and 'ludes. You know...constant state of euphoria with giggles aplenty. Er, not that we know firsthand. Let's just do this.


What made you want to start a blog/when did you start yours?
Like a year ago? I just do it to entertain myself, because I think that I'm hilarious. I'm the type of dude that can't finish telling a joke because I'll start giggling like a little girl.. But that's not like a shout-out to some underage coochie, because I'm not into that at all. I'm just self-centered.


What are your top 5 favorite songs of all time?
That's impossible to answer, but the last song I listened to was Megan by The Smoking Popes.


What is your ideal band formation…can be anyone alive or dead, from any genre. Must include at least a lead singer, lead guitar, bass guitar and drummer.
These are hard hitting questions you're asking. Seriously. Ummmm I like whenever they piece together bands on Family Guy. One minute they're being chased by the cops, and then next they're all on stage together "jammin". But you gotta have a cow on keyboards. Without the cow your band ain't shit!


Any other blogs, music or non-music related, that you recommend going to on a regular basis?
Idontwantyourlife.com!


Any guilty pleasure songs that you might not readily admit to liking?
Yeah Cry Me A River was some real ass shit!! No, but I'll listen to pop-like radio stations that play shit like The Pussycat Dolls when I'm in the car alone. I also masturbate on long drives, but whether or not someone else is in the car with me plays no part in that. Wanna take a drive up North?


Who's next? (your pick for the artist who you think is about to completely blow up and be huge)
I think Hayden Panettiere's new record is gonna change the world! I heard when you play it little Oompa Loompa's start crawling out of the woodworks, and start eating dogs & shit. It's gonna be like the Oompa Loompa "Night Of The Living Dead"


I'm casting your movie biopic...who is playing the lead as Messy Jesse?
Oh that's easy, the lead singer of Radiohead! Watching that dude's wonk-eye is the best shit ever. If he started dating Paris Hilton my head would probably explode. I gotta match up their donk eyes on my blog next week.


Best concert experience?
I've never been to a huge concert. I always end up seeing all these stomped on bands in little shithole bars that you can't even smoke in. What the fuck is that?! How am I supposed to look cool without a cigarette when some dirty slut is checking me?


If you could have any artist's career (musician, painter, actor, athlete, etc...) who would it be and why?
Mine like a year from now, because making a 100 billion dollars talking about Lauren Conrad's mustache is a respectable career..

Hey there Mustache Baby
What’s it like in New Hills City?
I’m a couple miles away
But stache tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Tom Selleck’s mustache can’t shine as bright as you
I swear it’s true

Hey there Mustache Baby
Don’t you worry about the stubbles
I’m right there if you get rashly
Give this Old Spice another splashy
Close your eyes
Listen to my electric razor it’s my disguise
I’m by your side

Oh it’s what your mustache does to me
Oh it’s what it does to me
Oh it’s what your mustache does to

Hey there Mustache Baby
I know times are getting hairy
But just believe me girl
Someday I’ll pay the bills with this blackberry
We’ll have it good
I’ll have the blog we knew I would
My word is good

Hey there Mustache Baby
I’ve got so much left to shave
If every simple stache I took from you
Would take your breath away
I’d shave them all
Even more in love with me you’d fall
We’d have it all

Hey there Mustache Baby
You be good and don’t you miss me
Two more years and you’ll be done with Hills
And I’ll be making gossip history like I do
You know it’s all because of you
We can shave whenever we want to
Hey there Mustache Baby here’s to you
This bics for you

Oh it’s what your mustache does to me
Oh it’s what it does to me
Oh it’s what your mustache does to me

You're throwing a party for celebs...who brings the chips and who brings the booze?
Brooke Hogan can bring the chips because who the fuck wants chips at a party anyway?! And I'm not letting that dude's 4 inch dick-clit in the place. There's respectable sluts here looking to get date-raped, and that bitch's beastness will sobor up a party real quick. As far as getting fucked up, I guess we can invite Amy Winehouse.. But don't let that chickenhead sit down on my couch! I'll have to burn that motherfucker afterwards, and she's gotta be dipped for fleas first too.

It's imperative to visit I Don't Want Your Life every day. Youre guaranteed to be left in stitches, diapers or handcuffs upon reading. Huge thanks to Messy Jesse. Yeah, we'll take that drive with you up north now!