I held off for as long as I could by not supporting this stack of limbs on my site.


Old girl has gone and done it again. I completely wrote off Mariah Carey and her new single/album/body/existence. But, this afternoon, by some stroke of magic, I was granted access to her latest offering. So. I've been forcing myself to listen to these tracks.

And wouldn't you know it. I've had Touch My Body (and a select other few) on repeat for a hot minute. I love that Mariah takes herself so seriously. And yet, this is nothing but completely laughable. The lyrics (in addition to the one used as this post title) are utterly comical. For real. Picture Mariah getting pissed and hunting you down. I envision a husky girl mannequin (you know, the ones with extra hip curves and bigger backyards than normal mannequins) holding an AK-47 and Frankestein-style-walking over to me for flapping my big yapper.

Maybe that's why I can't get enough of it. It just makes me feel so much better about myself. (Now, I have absolutely NO PATIENCE for any of the ballads. But give me my Mariah with a little beat and a lot of meat behind it, and I'm all about it.)

But I can't completely hate on the Vision of Love deeve. I mean, she's obviously done something right to have the success she's had. And that's your answer there. For the most cynical fan, as am I, she pulls me in yet again no matter what.

Damn it.