I do...I do! And 'twas the vows exchanged this past Saturday. If you frequent the site, you know we've sucked hard over the past month. Betwixt starting a new full time job and my sister's wedding, little to no time at all has been dedicated to the orphan child, Sheena Beaston. We begin today with a listfully blissful recap of the wedding and post-event happenings.

A lot of this will not make sense to you, but for my own sanity and the memories to keep for those involved, we're rolling with it. Feel free to politely chuckle. I once vowed to never be one of "those people" who make inside jokes and such on this site, but if I don't write these memories down, they'll be lost forever. Oh no wait. There's videos. Shit.

- rain on wedding day (good luck though!)
- the wet bar in the "back of the van [VW car]" (Ladyhawke reference!)
- dancing at the reception and getting "toweled off" by my mom
- my date clamoring to the floor and snatching the garter from under the grasp of a 5 year old
- theretofore having to place the garter on the ankle of a 10 year old girl who snagged the bouquet
- friends from Los Angeles and Ohio making the trip to southern NJ for the soiree
- going with said friends, 2 of my best lads from NYC and my brother to Wilmington, DE for a hotel stay/fun times
- an overflowing bag of sliced sausage, cheese, and 3 hoagie rolls
- eating too much sliced cured meats
- inviting the front desk worker, Danny, up to our room to, ahem, personally remove our luggage cart
- then meeting the best hotel worker ever, Jody, who hooked us up with Baxter's, blankets and JR (our ride to and fro)
- we wanted 2 bars right next door to each other...one for the "straighties" and one for the "others", as it was put
- we ended up with only one, Baxter's, and me, my friend, and my brother [read=the others], tore up a lesbian disco dance party which was going by the name "Who Loves Ya Baby"
- the party had a full buffet of fried chicken wings, collard greens, and cupcakes...the latter of which served as the official portrait background
- the scene was quite so, that my date remarked, "What is this, The Real Housewives of Atlanta?"
- we promptly lost him in the crowd when he ended up buying shots for pretty much the entire place, after motorboating a girl named Bernadette and hitting on her friend who he kept calling "Baby Jesus"

- my 2 male friends dancing with a woman who was literally a WALL...i likened her to the size of the Great Sphinx....she then got in my face and said "What yo want?!?"


- recording a talk show with my date as host, whilst wearing a duvet as cranial adornment
- interviewing my brother, when he remarked to wit, "You look like Casey Affleck...I'm going to call you Ben."
- stories re: couch wetting and vote polling that had us doubled over
- Smart Start smokes...are these low-carb?

That's pretty much it in a big nutshell. I'm still missing tales re: the Village Inns, crew cuts and my aunt, but we don't need to get into that.

Did you make it all the way through this post? Are you lost? Get some music to make up for it.

Glad to be back y'all!

mp3: Bell Biv Devoe - Do Me Baby
mp3: Jupiter One - Countdown (Designer Drugs Remix)
mp3: Patrick Lee - Nobody Does it Better